I was going to write some happy words about our upcoming anniversary, but I’ve decided that despite my gratitude to you all, that’s going to have to wait until next week.
In the last few weeks, some women (and a few men) that I love very much have been going through some pretty heavy shit. Some have talked about it openly, some carefully, some not at all.
And to them I want to say: you are loved. You are seen; I am here with you.
I recently listened to an interview with Alison Gopnik on the Ezra Klein Show. It’s a wide-ranging interview about childhood development and humanity in general; definitely worth the time. But one of the more profound things I got out of it was the idea that allowing others to care for you is an act of love. We go through our lives trying very hard to not “be a burden” to those around us; but we depend on those social ties that come with providing care. Love is grown and nurtured through the act of care. You will be more loved if you are willing to allow others to care for you, to be that “burden.” It allows relationships to deepen.
I admit, I am not good at this either. Raise your hand if you’ve heard me say one of these things: I’m fine. It doesn’t matter. I can handle it. It is what it is.
It’s so easy to fall into the trap of clamping down and plowing through. Looking back at those times, I can see where this was a mistake, and I can see how much better it was the times I let friends support me. Two quick stories: